What Is Your 5 Loaves and 2 Fishes?

Life’s been hard for me. The hopes seem useless and the expectation kills me. I think I’m lost. There are times when I don’t think God listens because I ask too much. There are times when I feel so low that I even can’t tell my husband and what I do is crying. It’s not easy, I can tell you.

There are times that I doubt God will help me because I complain too much. There are times when I am angry to Him because there’s this burden I can’t take it. I ask Him why He gives me such things?

In the middle of my confusion, I had this super tiny hope that I’d hear God speak. But what I heard was silence. He didn’t speak. Or I just didn’t listen. It hurt me so bad that when I needed Him so much, He seemed nowhere.

This morning in the office, I opened my iPad and read my today manna. Not like I always did that. But this morning, I felt like I needed to read it. Surprisingly, the title is, “Cara Tuhan Ajaib”. It told a story about how God made the wall of Jericho went down. It said, “Janganlah kamu khawatir akan hidupmu, apa yang akan kamu makan atau minum. Tuhan mampu meruntuhkan tembok-tembok persoalan, tembok-tembok kekhawatiran yang menghalangi kita.”

It gave me a link of a video by Corrine May – 5 Loaves and 2 Fishes. The lyric says, “Every single tear I cry is a diamond in His hand”. My tears went down. I knew right away that He already spoke to me this morning. He knew my sadness, He knew all the tears I cried, He knew all my burdens, and He surely listened to all what I said. He just waited for me to stop talking and giving Him the chance to speak to me.

Thank You, dear Lord. ๐Ÿ™‚

Five Loaves And Two Fishesย Lyrics
A little boy of thirteen was on his way to school

He heard a crowd of people laughing and he went to take a look
Thousands were listening to the stories of one man
He spoke with such wisdom, even the kids could understand

The hours passed so quickly, the day turned to night
Everyone was hungry but there was no food in sight
The boy looked in his lunchbox at the little that he had
He wasn’t sure what good it’d do, there were thousands to be fed

But he saw the twinkling eyes of Jesus
The kindness in His smile
And the boy cried out
With the trust of a child
he said:

“Take my five loaves and two fishes
Do with it as you will
I surrender
Take my fears and my inhibitions
All my burdens, my ambitions
You can use it all to feed them all”

I often think about that boy when I’m feeling small
And I worry that the work I do means nothing at all

But every single tear I cry is a diamond in His hands
And every door that slams in my face, I will offer up in prayer

So I’ll give you every breath that I have
Oh Lord, you can work miracles
All that you need is my “Amen”

So take my five loaves and two fishes
Do with it as you will
I surrender
Take my fears and my inhibitions
All my burdens, my ambitions
You can use it all
I hope it’s not too small

I trust in you
I trust in you

So take my five loaves and two fishes
Do with it as you will
I surrender
Take my fears and my inhibitions
All my burdens, my ambitions
You can use it all
No gift is too small

 

Have a good day, everyone! ๐Ÿ˜€

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